Thursday, August 28, 2008

For Billy Pilgrim

Commenter Billy Pilgrim caused me to spray coffee on my keyboard. I hope I can return the favor via commenter Jeremiah at No Quarter.

Grecian Temple Redux : NO QUARTER:


Associalist Press August 26, 2008

Obama Campaign Cancels Invesco Field
Moving entire production to Beijing’s Bird Nest Stadium.

15000 Chinese Performers have been called back to re-imagine the Olympic opening Ceremony as an homage to Obama’s amazing Life story. The Obama campaign is in full on marathon mode at the moment trying to get it all done.

Tenative Schedule of set pieces:

The Liberation of Auschwitz - complete with Bungee Jumping Paratroopers featuring Uncle Frank Parachuting in at the finale of the piece, 200,000 Goose-stepping Germans, and lots of skinny people.

The March on Selma - The Phillipines prisoners in their now famous orange Jumpsuits have been recruited to do their Thriller performance as they march around the stadium. Stand ins for Obama’s parents will do their portion of the march around the top of the stadium along the screens just like the torch lighting

The Birth of a messiah - A manger set being flown in from Jeruselem will be digital enhanced with hay, a goat, and donkeys. Dean Pelosi and Brazille will be playing the part of the three wise men. Rezko who is being released for this special even only will play Mary and Ayers will play Joseph as Obama’s Political Godmother and Father. I gigantic “O” will appear at center stage from which a Unity Pony with Wings will leap forth at the climax of this set piece ridden by Emil Jones who will Yell out “I Made Me a President!”

Arrival of the One - Matrix directors the Wachowski Brothers and James Cameron will create an all new set piece using the latest digital effects to recreate the epic battle of Neo vs Agent Smith on the Titanic. Agent smith will be played by a pantsuit wearing middle aged bitter woman. Neo will be played by will smith.

the Speech - The stadium floor will fill with water prior to the beginning of the speec. Obama will rise atop a rock in the middle of the man made sea. then, More hopey dopey change you can believe in. At the moment of the speech when he says this is the moment the seas begin to slow their rize, a massive hydroelectric set peice will recreate the Charlton Heston parting of the red sea.

The Ascension - A massive pyro technic light show culminating in a series of seemingly suspended in thin air steps will appear as Obama climbs them to a platform high above the stadium floor where he will fit himself to a harness lowered from an unseen helicopter hovering high above. Then he will ascend into the clouds as Barbra Striesand and Donna Summer in a show of racial harmony sing “Enough is Enough”

anonymous Obama campaign official says they have contacted Michael Phelps to see if he would let Obama wear his 8 gold medals during his speech. So far Phelps has not responded to the request.


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