Winning My Vote

After all we're a bunch of lo-fi-info voters and are dumb as rocks and easily manipulated-- that's why we're not fervently supporting the Obamanation: This piece actually originated (the quote) over at Huff'n'Puff but NAAOW can use the traffic if you want to look at the whole piece. It's all about how to manipulate a Clinton supporter. I don't know about you but this would definitely work with me. /snark (If I put "snark" in angle brackets, Blogger goes all weird. Go figure. When did "snark" enter Javascript?)

Native American’s Against Obama Weblog:

"...If you’ve been an outspoken Obama supporter from the beginning, it’s time to make amends with Hillary supporters you know. Arguing with, or browbeating them to get on board is counterproductive, but showing you’ve come around to respecting Hillary may ease their hurt enough to do the trick. (Even if you don’t mean it. This is politics.)

Here’s what you can do:

Eat crow. To get started, memorize this phrase, take a deep breath and say: “Now that I see how unqualified Sarah Palin is, I realize how I misjudged Hillary Clinton. Even Biden said she would have made a great vice president.” Saying you wish she were the presidential nominee may go too far, and you may not be able to get it out. But if the Hillaryite brings it up, don’t argue, and see below.

Let the HRC voter vent. You may have to draw on every bit of patience you have. You may have to hear once again how unfair it is that the Repubs chose Palin, and the Dems ignored Hillary, and that the party would assuredly be ahead if she were anywhere on the ticket. You may have to hear old-news complaints about sexism and Jack Cafferty’s curmudgeonly comments, David Shuster’s pimping Chelsea insult, the Monica mentions, the tougher debate questions for Hillary.

Do not look like you want to run and soak your head in vodka, even if you do. Do not talk unless asked. Listening without argument is the major way to keep this potential voter attainable. Act empathic. Nod your head in agreement when the subject of Palin or Chris Matthews or Keith Olbermann’s Hillary-bashing commentary is mentioned. Learn these phrases and use them every so often: “I imagine it must be hard.” “It must seem unfair.” “I know, you wanted to see an accomplished woman as president in your lifetime.” “I can understand your being hurt (sad, mad, furious, despondent, livid, resentful, apoplectic, intransigent, inconsolable, red-faced, nauseous, wretched, shit-faced”). Again, do not argue. Just listen. Do not praise Obama. I know, this seems ridiculous, but now is not the time in this chain of events. Also, do not praise Michelle or their daughters. If the HRC supporter praises, agree and move on. This is not so much about Obama as it is the closure about Hillary’s run, which remains a wound to some. Take a breath, and move to the next step, which may be the hardest..."

Psych 080 and counselorspeak-- for all you idiot Clinton supporters. Wheeeee. There's much more. Does this answer the election-old question of why O'Supporters are so insufferable?